It's out of my hands

We all start off our lives with dreams and goals that we all think will determine the rest of our lives.
I've come to realize, that we really have only so much control over what becomes of our dreams and goals.
For me, it's always best to have a plan, but you have to be open to change, and realize that everything you set out to do and all the plans you've made are more than likely to change in the blink of an eye.
Although I had to leave the place I loved, I now know that it was to right thing to do. Despite the fact I left some of the most amazing people behind, they are still a huge part of my life.
We're lucky- we get to choose who we want to keep with us, and who we don't, no matter how far apart we are.
Sometimes when I really take the time to sit down and think, I realize that the people I have come across within the last year are truly my angles. They are the ones that helped me grow, lifted me up when I was down and truly proved to be the best friends anyone could ever ask for. It still amazes me that to this day, even though we are miles apart, the connection we had is not lost. And when I really think of it, those people really did change me forever...I could not be more grateful for having the chance to meet these people and call them my friends.
Now, I'm starting a new "episode" of my life. Even though I'm not really sure where I want to be in September- school, traveling, or still floating around trying the find the perfect plan- I can now accept that I don't really have a real plan this time around. For once in my life, even though I'm scared as hell, I'm just going to let life take it's course. Enjoy one day at a time, love the people I'm with, and let my future unfold on it's own.

Karma

Today was a good day
..despite the fact that Monday is, well, Monday.
I realized that I'm becoming more and more comfortable in my own skin, and the things that I tend to over think and over react about will really work themselves out in the end...as long as you give life a chance.
Working hard, really isn't that hard as long as you keep your head on your shoulders and have a somewhat positive attitude.
Most importantly, I realized that every day someone at work gives me a huge hug or a big smile and actually cares about how I'm doing. There might be a lot of losers out there, but there are also a lot of amazing people and life really is that much better if you chose to spend your time with real and honest people. Appreciate people for who they are, show them respect, honesty and be trustworthy and you will gain no less back.

Discovery

One of my most favorite things to do is to sit down and just stare out of a window and let my mind take over. Its funny, cause there's some windows that work perfectly for this...and others that just don't (if you know what I mean.)
This morning I woke up and decided to stare out of my kitchen window...it doesn't look onto anything special- my backyard, a tree that still hasn't gotten any spring leaves, a fence...and thats about it- I realized that even though my life may not be where I want it to be today, that soon, it will be. I'll be in a new place, with new things to do and new people to be with. I'll have the space to discover things I never knew and, hopefully, finally feel like I'm where I belong. So really, today may not be exactly what I want it to be, but today is a stepping stone, a time in my life to pause and try and make the best of what I've got at the moment.
What I'm living for now is the hope and the dream of finding my new place in the world, of discovering another perfect window in place presently unknown to me...

Fresh

Today...
Im starting over.
Today...
Is my new beginning.


...and thats exactly what I've needed for so long.